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| MHIZTAEMY |
1.Good afternoon to those who slept alone last night
The rest of you will get your greetings from your sex partners
2.I remember that day when my identical twin brother Impregnated a soldiers daughter and went abroad
Chai i started Chewing water and end up drinking rice
3.D way ATM throws out card after withdrawing 1k is so disrespectful…I had 2 pick mine across the main road yesterday
4.If he comes back from work & sits outside for a while. Sister he’s deleting the messages.
Hurry up & catch him
5.Imagine chatting with a beautiful girl at a wedding and your Mum comes to tell you “put this Rice in the plastic bag gives to you and say “take this home this is our supper”…
6.When you go to a interview and your Ex is the CEO that is when you will understand why Mathematics has been telling you to find the value of X
7.If you think lawyers are the best liars…. Then you have never met Africa tailors…
8.Save 100k in Nigerian bank, after 6 months u hav 80k left.
Savings account
9.Two days into a relationship, you already need 5k urgently. Is that the registration fee?
[You can also read COLLECTION JOKES EPISODE 1]
10This life ehn
I remember when my gf told me that she missed her period
It took me 12hrs to finish my one slise of bread
11.The only time a man can truly remember all the girls he has slept with is when he is waiting for his HIV TEST RESULT.
12.I’ve just received a friend request from a seven year Girl biko who told her that i stole her pencil
13.Next month, September, before you give her money for Brazilian hair, she must sing the Brazilian National anthem first !
14.Anytime you see a girl shaking her buttocks while walking, just know she’s going to her guy’s place
HOW DO I KNOW?
Because it is written on syrup bottles
“shake well before use”
15.When you just had unprotected sex you start seeing strange things, even number plates will be like, HIV654Q..ARV548G…..STD143H..
..DIE980T
16.I can’t get how cockroaches survive in a microwave
You will be warming up food and suddenly you will see them walking like Shadreck, meshack and abednego…
17.Police arrested you and collected your phone, a text msg came in saying; “Abeg if U dey come… buy me one AK-47 nd 4-Bullets make we take do night things”.
How do you explain to the police that your friend meant a Vodka (AK-47) and 4-Energy drinks (Bullets).
To make matters worse, your friend’s name is ROBERT but you saved it as ROB-1.
What will you do to convince a Nigerian Policeman?
18.I smoked weed 4d first time today, it’s not strong as people use to say! Am just relaxed listening to C Ronaldo 7’s album
19.IN THIS COLD WEATHER NO WOMAN IS UGLY, MEN ARE WE TOGETHER?
20.
Look Into My Eyes And Tell Me You Love
Me…….
This Is How Some People Catch Appollo
21.in Nigerian hospitals you will stand on a que until you forgot your sickness
22.Africans thinks violence fixes everything you will find a person slapping remote control simply because he want to watch GANGAA and the remote is not working
23. It is only in Indian movies that armed robbers will be singing inside a bank after robbery and Police will be outside the bank dancing, Yeye people
[You can also read COLLECTION JOKES EPISODE 2]
24. That awkward moment when after inserting a Disc in your dvd and find out its a porn video…..immediately, nepa takes light and brings it back in the night when ur entire family has gathered to watch d film showing last memory. U don die
25. U are driving and listening to a pastor’s sermon in ur car and then he says close ur eyes lets pray and u did… My broda you are going to hell
26. Only ibadan guys will carry laptop bags around with ludo inside.. Abeg let no Ibadan girl knock me again oo, i’m not feeling well
[You can also read story: PASSWORD (20+)]
27. PASTOR: Praise the Lord!!!
CHURCH MEMBERS: HALLELUJAH!!!
PASTOR: That halleluyah is too small for my God.
ME: Who are you? Heaven’s sound system engineer?
28. You will just ask some girls ” tell me your hobbies” and she will open her mouth and say “traveling and shopping”Don’t you have any other hobby that doesn’t cost money? Like sleeping, trekking and crying
29. Men sucking lady’s breast is normal because the act was learnt from childhood when they are young but the act of lady’s sucking men d**ck is what baffles me,where did they learn it from??
30. My roommate just came back with his babe today, now they have been here staring at me for the past 6 hours they think I’ll go outside to give them privacy Ah! i cannot support evil
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