INSATIABLE CRAVINGS
Insatiable Cravings – Episode 62
Subtitle; {Loving You Is A Loosing Game}
TAGS: Age-gap, Mafia, Forbidden Love, Drama, Tragedy and Betrayal.
Settings: United Kingdom, Russia and others.
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
~ Genevieve ~
“I love you. I love you, Genevieve.” His grip on my waist tightened slightly as he pulled me closer. His gaze wandered across my face, desperation and hurt glimmering in his stunning golden-brown eyes. “I. Love. You.”
I should be over the moon. I should be utterly delighted that Dominic has finally uttered the words I’d been yearning to hear, but instead, I felt an unsettling weight.
It felt more like an obligation than a heartfelt confession, and heaven forbid I trap him in a relationship he feels compelled to be in against his own wishes and free will.
“Happy?” Dominic asked, hope creeping through the desperation and hurt in his beautiful eyes. “Can we go back to how we were before?”
No. No, we can’t.
Everything that has transpired over the past few days has profoundly affected both our lives in ways that are paiñfully agonísing. Forgetting it all, pretending none of this has happened is not just difficult; it’s impossible.
Looking into his amber eyes, all I wanted was to say yes, to agree with him, and perhaps even kiss him. But doing so would make me feel foólish, so what did I do?
I placed my palms on his chest, and in that moment, I felt his heart thumping loudly beneath my hand as more hope bloomed in his eyes. But then I gently pushed him away, creating a reasonable distance between us. All the hope that had shone in his eyes moments ago shattered.
Before I could utter a word, Dominic shook his head, pleading with me not to say anything that would further destróy us. What he didn’t understand was that there needs to be an ‘us’ before I can destróy it, and regrettably, we are not an ‘us.’
“No.” I replied casually, as if it didn’t húrt.
“No, you aren’t happy? Or no, we can’t go back?”
“B-both.” It was the truth; I was everything but happy right now. Dominic arched his brow, clearly asking why. “We can’t go back. The past is the past for a reason, Dominic.”
“Don’t lecture me.”
“I’m not. I’m just saying…”
“What you’re saying is that you confessed your feelings for me, avoided me all those days just for me to confess mine for you, and now you’re saying we can’t.” He interrupted, his voice sharp and laced with barely concealed rage. “What is all of this, Genevieve? What do you mean by we can’t? Why can’t we?”
“Because you’re lying! Because you don’t actually think you love me, yet you’re saying it just to comfort me!”
I didn’t need to be a genius to figure that out. And quite frankly, it was glaringly obvious by the way his face fell that I was right.
“How do you know that?”
“The answer is standing right before me, Dominic. Is calling me a child not enough? Now you want to call me blind?” When he remained silent, I added, “And I can’t do that to you.”
He looked genuinely confused. “Do what?”
“Force you to be in a relationship with me when you don’t want to be.” I replied, stepping back as I noticed him inching closer.
The more distance between us, the less I would get húrt emotionally. Right?
“There’s no force involved. I love you, love.”
“You’re simply saying that because you know it’s what I want to hear, not because you actually mean it. I won’t force you into any sort of relationship just because you’re afraid to lose me.”
“You’re right, I don’t want to lose you.”
I didn’t want to lose him either.
“Well, sometimes losing someone is completely normal. That’s what life is about.”
In a flash, Dominic pinned me against the wall, his hands on either side of me, caging me exactly where he wanted me. “Life isn’t worth living without you in it. I’ll be damnéd if I allow myself to lose you. You’re the only thing keeping me alive and sane, and right now, you’re driving me màd.”
This is what he does. He says things that make my heart race and butterflies flutter in my stomach, just not the L word.
And just as I was about to respond, Dominic let out a groan filled with pàin, shutting his eyes tightly as he cradled his head in his hands.
“Dominic,” I reached out, only for him to stumble back and collapse onto the floor. “Dominic, what is happening?”
Overwhelming panic wrapped its frigid arms around me, leaving me frozen for what felt like an eternity, unsure of what to do while Dominic writhed in paín.
Migraine.
‘He also has a migraine.’ Dexter’s words echoed in my ears once more, and that’s when it struck me.
But I hadn’t brought any migraine medication. I lowered myself to the floor, aligning my gaze with his before cradling his face in my hands.
In his amber eyes, tears lingered, refusing to spill. Devastation was etched across his features as he struggled to breathe through parted lips. Anxiously moistening my lips, I leaned in closer, desperate to offer him even the slightest bit of comfort, then I asked, “What can I do?”
Isn’t it rather unbelievable that the Don of the Bràtva finds solace in my embrace? Me, the girl he insists he doesn’t love, yet allows to touch him as I please while he keeps every other girl at bay.
The answer is yes; however, the most astonishing part is how little he attempts to conceal his paín from me. At least that’s somewhat reassuring, isn’t it? That I mean something to him.
“I don’t know.”
I nodded, trying to engage all my brain cells. Surely there must be something I can do; what is it? Does water help?
“Dominic, please stand up.” He weakly shook his head. “Up now,” I repeated, my voice firm this time.
It was fleeting, but a small smile flitted across his face. He rose to his feet, taking my hands in his before intertwining our fingers, and simply stared at me, the paiñ still evident in his eyes.
“Shower. Go shower.”
“No.”
“Don’t start, Dominic.” He pouted sadly, still holding onto my hand despite my attempts to pull it away. “I can’t shower with you, let go.”
A tear slipped down his cheek. “My head húrts.”
I sighed heavily. “I know. That’s why…”
Dominic interrupted me by guiding me towards the shower in his office bathroom. He shut the glass door, and just as I was about to protest, he turned on the shower.
“You’re such a twàt,” I murmured, not meaning a word.
A smile lingered on his face, his breaths still uneven from the paiñ in his head, before his palms cradled my face. He tucked a damp strand of hair behind my ear, his gaze roving over my features before he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into a hug.
My heart, racing uncontrollably, thumped even harder and faster now. Our bodies were pressed together, wet and wild with emotions neither of us dared to voice any longer.
“Dominic…” I started, but paused to exhale. The pounding of my heart wasn’t helping me feel any less anxious. “You do realise I don’t have spare clothes, right?”
All he did was hum so softly that I nearly didn’t catch it. He turned his head to bury it in the crook of my neck, his lips brushing against my skin, eliciting a gasp from me.
Dominic pulled away slightly, his eyes locking onto mine. “You will stay, won’t you?” I said nothing, but my eyes conveyed the truth. “Please,” he pleaded, his eyes brimming with tears from the countless moments of distress tonight. “Please, stay, Vixen. At least just for tonight.”
“If I say yes, will you stop crying?” I asked. “You’re only making your migraine worse.”
“It’s your fault.”
Naturally, I was about to argue against his claim, but Dominic clearly had other intentions. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, he pressed his lips against mine, stealing not just my words, but my breath in a single, sweeping motion.
He kissed me as though he couldn’t bear the thought of losing me, as if he somehow sensed this might be our last kiss. Dominic kissed me like he loved me with every fibre of his being, like I was his entire world. And I kissed him back because he is mine.
This dàft jérk, kissing me so gently and sensually, oh so slowly savouring every moment our lips were joined, is my world.
TBC
