THE K1LLER'S KNIFE
The K1ller's Knife - Episode 33
I was crying helplessly by the time I was done telling doctor Stanley everything that happened with father and how I eventually k!lled him.
I even told him the part mother found out about what I did through father's letter and she decided not to have anything to do with me again.
Doctor Stanley didn't say anything as I spoke pâÃñfully from my heart. He just kept nodding his head to show that he was listening attentively
I know this is a huge risk I am taking which I might end up regretting but I didn't care anymore about the outcome.
I just really need someone to unburden my heart to, and since he is the only available person then it's fine by me.
All I want right now is to free myself of the worries in my heart. I don't mind facing the consequences afterwards since I know that I deserve it anyways.
Mother has left me and I might never get to see my sisters anymore so what more is even there to protect again...?
I know the greatest he will do is to send me packing from his house to protect himself and his wife from a mμrdérer like me. Or better still he will sell me out to the police but then so what...?
I don't care anymore about how he is going to react to it! I'm done trying to hold it in while dying of gúilt on the inside because I have nobody to share it with. I've just decided to accept my fate!
If he sends me packing then I'll go away and likely commit sμ¡cide on the road instead of living in this continuous shame and reproach
But if it's the latter then I'll just surrender to the police or even k¡ll myself before they come to arrést me.
Mother chasing out of the house and out of her life shattered me into pieces.
There's nothing to live for anymore, I won't think twice before taking myself off this cold and w¡cked world
Doctor Stanley still didn't say anything even after five minutes of telling him my story and all I did wrong.
I was expecting him to shout, sprang up in shock, or squeeze his face in disgust and maybe walk out of the room to tell his wife but he did none of that.
He just kept calm and after about five additional minutes, he heaved heavily. I prepared my mind to hear what he was going to tell me and honestly I expected the worst, not until I heard him ask me
" Do you mind a warm hug...? I feel like you need a hug right now. It has this therapeutic effect that will help you feel better. Do you mind trying...?"
I was shocked to hear that from doctor Stanley and I actually thought that it was my ears playing tricks on me.
Did he not hear all the things I told him I did, that I as a 14 year old boy k¡lled someone who is my own father...?
I continued looking at him skeptically to be sure he wasn't mentally s¡ck or déâf.
Doctor Stanley smiled in his usual warm way and outstretched his hands to show that he was actually serious about what he said earlier
" Yo...yo..you... want me to hug you...?" I asked with a shaky voice feeling really touched by this act of affection
When he nodded in affirmation, I jumped into his hands and he engulfed me in a tight warm hug.
It's the first time to be hugged by someone and honestly the feeling was awesome especially now that I feel like I am not worth any show of affection.
I don't deserve anything good and I never expect, so that I won't get my hopes dashed.
Doctor Stanley shocked me
No one has ever offered me a hug or show me care like he was doing right now.
I silently hope it's not a trick.
I wept on his shoulders like a new born child and he was patting my back soothingly urging me to let it all out without attempting to hold it in
I soon felt relieved and stopped crying after a while but I still didn't want to disengage from the hug so quickly
I didn't want to let go because in his arms I feel the safety and warmth that I had never felt before in my life. It was as if a father was securing his child.
I guess doctor Stanley understood my emotions at that moment and didn't pull away from the hug until I did so myself.
It was an embarrassing moment for me so after disengaging from the hug, I shyly bent my head looking at the bed.
I was biting my upper lips nervously and was quiet without saying anything
" You don't have to feel embarrassed Jacob. Tell me...how do you feel now...? Do you feel more relieved than you were earlier...?" Doctor Stanley asked softly and lifted my head to stare at him.
He was equally looking at me but I noticed something heartwarming. He had this affectionate glint in his eyes which got me wondering why he was being so caring towards me
" Why are you being this nice to me...? Or didn't you hear what I said about k¡lling my father and trying to cover it up...? Aren't you scared that I might try to do the same thing to you and aunty Vivian who has been so nice to me...?" I asked with confusion evidently plastered on my face
" I am not in any way scared of you Jacob. Infact I admire you a lot after everything you've told me. Your story shows the inner strength which you or your mother is failing to see. Don't get me wrong I am not applauding what you did to your father... but I see a young boy who was only fighting to protect himself and his loved ones from perpetual tormentor. Your only cr¡me is that you went about it the wrong way...."
I began crying again as I heard this soothing words from doctor Stanley. Everything he said felt like balm to my w0úñded soul and I'm glad to know that there is someone who understands me.
"...since the first day that I saw you at the hospital...I took a liking to you and I saw a boy with a great future. In you, I saw a successful medical doctor. You are like a son to me Jacob and I believe in you to accomplish your dream of becoming a medical doctor like myself" Doctor Stanley said patting my back
I shook my head vigorously indicating a No. My voice was cracking as I was talking to doctor Stanley and telling what I truly felt about myself
" I doubt that doctor Stanley. I don't believe in myself anymore. Mother has abandoned me to my fate and it's obvious that there's nobody to support my dreams. The truth is staring at me in the face that at my young age I am all alone in this miserable life of mine!"
Doctor Stanley sighed and stopped patting my back, instead he brought his right hand to my cheek. He cleaned the tears using his own hand and it made my heart flutter at the show of care
" I am here as a father for you Jacob and I'll always be here whenever you need me. No matter the level you want to go in your education and future... you can count on me to support you whether financially, emotionally, or otherwise. And for the record...this house is now your home too so you're officially an occupant of this house until whenever you feel okay to be independent" Doctor Stanley pledged smiling
I was elated and my heart was bubbling with joy as I heard that. I shouted in excitement and unconsciously jumped on him in a tight hug
" Thank you very much doctor Stanl.." I was about to say when at that exact moment, someone barged into the bedroom abruptly cutting short my words and my period of excitement
I pulled away from the hug to see that it is Mrs Vivian and her face was not smiling at all. She was boiling in fury and it got me wondering why
" Never! Not under my watch will my husband become a father figure to a mμrdérer! Stanley you want to sponsor a boy who is his own father's k¡ller...? Are you under a spell or is our childlessness affecting you this bad...? In fact this boy is leaving our house today or else I'll call the police on him myself!" Mrs Vivian blurted these words out to the surprise of me and doctor Stanley who never knew she has been eavesdropping on us behind the door.
I was scared.
My body began to shake with féar
Oh no, not again! What kind of tr0μble is this again.
I'm tired!
(Do not take credit or Plagiarize AMAH'S HEART stories)
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