THE K1LLER'S KNIFE
The K1ller's Knife - Episode 30
" Why did you buy the UTME form without telling me...?" Mother said still looking intently at me
Oh, so this is what this is about...? I thought and relaxed as I let out the breath I was initially holding
" Mother it was out and since I had the money...I didn't think it was necessary to inform you before buying it"
Mother went silent without saying any other words to me. I had to ask her questions as I began to feel confused
" Why did you ask mother? Is something wrong with what I did...?"
I sat there waiting for her to talk and if it is something that I needed to apologize for, then I don't mind.
When she still wasn't talking, I decided to add something hoping that my words will pacify her since it seems as though what I did is hurting her feelings
" I don't know what this is all about mother but if I did wrong by buying the form without informing you...then I am sorry... please pardon me. I just felt it wasn't necessary and I was actually planning to tell you when I am granted admission into the medical school!"
Mother was still quiet and was now staring into nothingness. I shrugged my shoulders and concluded that everything was okay and she probably had nothing more to say to me.
Today was so stressful and I needed to wash off the day's sweat. I took her silence as a cue to leave her alone and so I stood up to walk to the bathroom
Just at that moment, mother said something that threw me off balance and I stopped in my tracks immediately
" Is this why you did what you did to my husband, your own father...? Were you scared that he will not allow you to pursue your dreams of becoming a medical doctor...?" Mother said calmly
I turned to face her squarely and I saw the intense sadness in her eyes. I was so confused about what was happening.
I mean how does she know what I did to father or is this about something else...? I shook the thoughts away as it came. instead I tried to convince myself that it just can't be what I'm thinking, it must be something else.
" I'm sorry mother but I don't understand what you mean by why I did what I did to father. I can never intentionally do anything wrong to father and you know it" I said trying to play the innocent card
Mother was silent again and raised her head to look at my eyes. I tried to but I couldn't maintain the eye contact for long because of the gμ¡lt in my heart
" I remember that when your father was alive he wasn't so keen about your education...and that was the main reason he was always refusing to give me money for your school fees..." mother said each of these words slowly
She later paused to wipe the tears that were beginning to pour from her eyes and then continued after a while
"...there was even a time he told me that he doesn't want you to go to the university. He said that after your secondary school...he wants you to join him to manage his shop and from there you'll get married and bear him grandchildren. To Jamie your father... going to school was simply a waste of time and resources!" Mother said and went quiet again
" I am confused mother. What is all of this about father and my education...?" I asked already getting impatient and mother smiled sadly before continuing
" I was never in support of what Jamie wanted your future to be like as I believed in allowing a child to pursue his dreams. Yet I still respected your father's decision and I didn't push it"
My confusion skyrocketed and I scratched my head not understanding anything despite how hard I tried to
" Mother I'm trying to understand you here. Are you saying that I shouldn't have gotten the form because father would not be happy in his grave.... that I am going against what he initially planned for my future...?" I asked trying to make sense of mother's words
Mother shook her head nonverbally indicating that it isn't what she meant.
My heart was already beating very fast at the direction this conversation was headed and mother's unusual behavior
" Jacob I'm aware he might not have been a good husband to me but I know he loved his children dearly and wanted what he felt was the best for you and your siblings...so why did you resort to do such an abominable thing...?"
Honestly I wasn't expecting such an accusing question. It took me unaware and I began stammering very bad
" What.. what .. hmm.. what..are.. are.. you talking.. talking... about mother...?" I asked mother and my feet were beginning to feel wobbly. I was just managing to stand strong and not fall
My mind was running several miles and for a few seconds, it felt like my spirit disappeared from my body. I hope this isn't what I think it is...?
But how is it even possible for mother to find out..?
Ah! let it not be what I'm thinking it is. Please I'm begging you oh Lord
It seems my prayers went into voicemail with God because the next words that came out from mother's mouth confirmed my fears.
" Jamie was such a strong tree and he did not deserve to be cut off by his own fruit! It is still hard to believe that it is his own seed that k¡lled him!" Mother said parabolically and closed her eyes to allow the tears flow down freely
I froze at what mother revealed. It took me a longer period of time to process the facts and come to terms with reality.
When I finally did, it occurred to me that Mother has now discovered that I am the one who k!lled father.
" ...he was hurting us physically and emotionally...yes I know. He sent me packing and then brought another woman into the house...I know that too. But I forgave him so why did you have to k!ll him to take revenge for me...?" Mother asked me with so much ánger and with her gaze fixed on me
Hearing that question from mother, my feet gave away as I weakly fell to the floor. I couldn't bear to return her gaze so I kept my head bent low in shame.
" I'm sorry mother. I..I..I..I.. didn't do it to take revenge for you.. I..I.. did it because he.." I tried to explain but mother cut me off.
She stood up from the bed and was pacing about the room in a way which showed that she was burning in fury
" There's no justification whatsoever for what you did to my husband. You are obviously a mμrdérer who k!lled your own father! Accept it Jacob instead of trying to find excuses to back it up. You k!lled my dear husband, my own Jamie and I hāte you for that, oh Jacob, you're a cμrsed child, you're an ev!l son"
Mother's words badly stung my heart. It pierced me really deep and I shook my head trying to push the thoughts of being a very térr¡ble person away
I was crying badly but I didn't know if it was out of regrets or the embarrassment of being tagged the k¡ller that I am
" ....you know I actually couldn't believe it at first. I thought maybe it was a dream! Jacob I had to sleep twice and wake up to realize that it is the reality"
" I'm so sorry mother...please.. please.. please forgive me" I said crying bitterly and I even tried to hold mother's legs but she kicked me off in ánger
" Get away from me Jacob... you disgust me! How do I explain that my young son had committed mμrder 2 years ago...when he was only 14 years old and the victim is his own father...?" Mother shouted with all her might and moved far away from me
"...you were just 14 years of age and yet thought, plotted, and afterwards carried out the plan of k¡lling someone. My God! tell me Jacob... where exactly did I go wrong in training you and your sisters..? Was Jamie such a bad father for you to have done this to him...?"
" I don't know what came over me mother... I..was so angry with father for what he did to another man. He was the one who plotted with Flora to k¡ll Keto"
" Really...? You really got gut, you mμrdered my sweet Jamie and have the nerve to defend your actions? Your røtten brain couldn't come up with something else except to kïll my husband. the only way to avenge was to k¡ll him..? I'm disappointed in you Jacob... I can't believe this is the young innocent boy I thought I knew!"
" I'm sorry mother. I know that no amount of apology will erase what I have done. I'm ready to face the consequences of my actions. So what now.. will you call the police on me...?" I asked fearfully with tears in my eyes
Mother kept mute and didn't answer me. She just kept looking at me and honestly I couldn't tell what was going through her mind.
I was still confused as to how she knew about this truth in the first place. I decided to ask her directly since there was nothing to hide or lose anymore
"...but mother I was very sure that I covered up my cr¡me of k¡lling father. So how did you even find out about it..?"
Mother chuckled upon hearing my question and she responded coldly
" You want to know how I found out that you k¡lled my Jamie...?"
I nodded vigorously and mother said to me without smiling or mincing words
" Okay fine... I'll tell you Jacob"
(Do not take credit or Plagiarize AMAH'S HEART stories)
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