FLUCTUATING HOPE
Fluctuating Hope - Episode 7
Written By Amah's Heart. & Blessing
I came back home and sat on my bed after taking off my outing clothes of a simple Jean trouser and a chiffon top.
After sitting on the bed for a while, I felt exhausted so I laid down face up at the ceiling before making use of the pillow beside me to support my head
I closed my eyes in an attempt to take a quick nap and that is when the weight of what I did earlier with Chief Raymond and Nisi dawned on me.
Oh God! I can't believe I couldn't get myself to do what Nisi and every other girl is doing to get rich quick without having to work hard for it.
I tried to prepare my mind for it, Heaven knows that I tried so hard because I really need the money to sort out my school problems! but as I looked at Chief Raymond staring at my body and licking his lips as though I was a piece of disposable meat;
I begun imaging a man as old as my grandfather on top of me kissing and taking away the virginity that I have reserved for the past twenty-two long years of my life and God! I couldn't help feeling so nauseous and disgusted!
I felt miserable just thinking about it and added with his demeaning words, I knew that after the act I will not just lose my purity and salvation but I will also lose my self control and respect in the eyes of Chief
I mean we hadn't even begun anything intimate yet you can imagine the disrespectful words that he said to me back there
What exactly did he mean by:
'I am fifty-seven years old and yet I am even more vibrant than ten able-bodied men combined!.. I can give you mind-blowing orgasms that will make you come back for more mouthfuls without demanding money in return for the pleasure'
So he expects me to overlook his age, take off my clothes in front of him, sacrifice my virginity on the altar of money and lose all of my self-control by coming back to beg him for more sex? I thought rhetorically
He even went further to say that:
' age is just a number and as a young helpless girl that you are, age shouldn't matter much when you need urgent financial assistance'
Which means that he merely views me Debby as a helpless young girl hence I should swallow anything because I need financial assistance! I inwardly soliloquized
Honestly, I have always fantasized and envision my first time sex to be memorable and with a man I will proudly call my lawful wedded husband
I guess that is another reason why I gathered the courage to walk out on such a temptation;
I didn't want to compromise my honeymoon dreams and fantasies for a temporary pleasure with a lust-driven old man who is only after my body and would dump me for another girl when he is satisfied
But I can't deny the fact that now reminiscing those words from Chief Raymond still makes me feel so pained and slowly depression is setting in.
I keep wondering why God would bless noxious men with wealth to be preying on innocent and helpless girls, indirectly terminating their future whilst for some unfortunate girls their lives is endangered by ritualistic men.
Inasmuch as I don't regret turning down Chief Raymond's offer and consequentially loosing my friendship with Nisi, I know that I will get to regret it sooner or later when the month end draws closer.
Either ways, my mind is made up on the next decision to take;
By month end I will submit my suspension letter to the school authority for approval, after which I will engage in menial jobs hopefully I should be able to save up something tangible before the next academic year, whilst giving my mother ample time to run around to ask more friends and relatives for help
I believe that God will touch the heart of at least one person who will help me without a price tag on it, but for now I will relax instead of letting desperation take the vulnerable part of me.
After making this decision, I slowly drifted off to sleep land until a tap woke me up followed with several excited shouts of:
" Debby! Debby! get up!" These words keep ringing out in my ears, initially I thought that it was in the dream world so I thought of paying deaf ears to it until I heard someone shrieking
" get up sister Debby! there's good news, a very good news sister Debby.. so sister Debby get up ooooooo..." I heard a soft shrill and then the tap came a second time although this time more harder than the first tap
Slowly I opened my eyes whilst I made use of my right hand to rub my eyes of the remnants of the sleep in it but failed woefully as I still felt so sleepy.
I soon opened my eyes properly but it actually took me a while to get accustomed to my current environment
When I finally did I saw my two sisters; Amah and Kemi in front of my bed smiling widely
" Debby! guess what?" Amah asked and I shrugged as I slowly sat up on the bed with slightly sleepy eyes
" Common Amy we both know that I suck at guesswork so please just spill the beans already.. I just woke up and honestly I still feel very sleepy!" I said making it clear that I wasn't in the mood for any chitchat
I just hope that whatever is causing their excitement enough to make them wake me up is something important and beneficial to me or else I will transfer the aggression to them
" Sister Debby! Auntie Cynthia is here in our house and she is asking to see you right now!" Kemi replied and the excitement in her voice can not be underemphasized, she is happy but the reason is what I still don't understand
" Who is Auntie Cynthia and why does she want to see me? any problem?" I asked looking at Amah with confusion boldly portrayed on my face
" Auntie Cynthia Nyeye is that mummy's friend that left for the states ten years ago nau.. you can't remember her?" Amah answered looking skeptically at me for a reply
" Oh oh oh! yes! I remember her now Auntie Cynthia Nyeye... wait! wait! you mean she is back to Nigeria and she is in our house right now?" I asked wide-eyed in surprise
" Yes oh she is finally back to Nigeria with her husband and her son Malvin.. she came to see mummy and now she is asking to see you after mummy told her about the problems we've been encountering in regards to your schooling... I think she wants to sponsor you so please come out Debby!" Amah expounded happily
" Amy are serious about what you are saying?" I asked unable to believe my ears
My eyes shone brightly in happiness, sleep completely left my eyes and my hopes were lifted high yet again
" Yes sister Debby I think so too... she is in our sitting room now, please come lets go now!" Kemi said trying to pull me up
" Wow! you were right oh, this is indeed good news Kemi!" I replied smiling as I concurred to Kemi's hand pull
I got up from the bed in excitement and accompanied my two sisters out of the bedroom to our sitting room
I entered the sitting room but a smoke from the opposite direction drifted into nostrils and made me close my eyes.
I stood rooted to a spot and I kept wondering what it was and why there is even a smoke smell in the sitting room
I slowly opened my eyes again and I saw where the smoke was coming from; it was from a cigarette stick held by a young handsome man who I guess should be in his early thirties
I won't lie; he is very handsome, fair-skinned with his pointed nose, a braided hair and small earrings on his ears which gave him this razzed look, pink lips which gets me wondering why it is so when it is typical of smokers to have darker lips
He sat comfortably in one of the plastic chairs in the sitting room smoking the cigarette stick without a care in the world.
I was pissed and I wonder who he thinks he is to relaxedly sit and be smoking in my father's sitting room, is he a mad man or something similar? I thought inwardly but a voice of a woman at my back brought me out of my innermost thoughts
I turned backwards to where the woman's voice came from and I also took advantage of that time to look around me
The only people in the sitting room were my mother, Auntie Cynthia, the smoker young man, and then me and my two sisters who came in just now
" See how grown you've become Debby and beautiful too, wow!.. time really does fly, I remember that you were still a little girl when I saw you ten years ago.. that day your mother brought you along with her to the airport to bid me farewell!" A woman I recognized as Auntie Cynthia said looking at me and smiling with all her white teeth
" Good evening Auntie Cynthia.. welcome back to Nigeria!" I greeted smiling back at her and she laughed lightly before beckoning me to come closer to where she sat and I did
" I am happy that you still remember me Debby.. I am glad to meet you and my friend's family again.. there, meet my son Malvin.. I don't know if you still remember him?" Auntie Cynthia queried smiling as she pointed at the Malvin guy who intentionally ignored her introduction and focused more on the cigarette in his left hand.
Wow! So this smoker is actually Auntie Cynthia's son? what a big joke. I thought inwardly
" Sure Auntie Cynthia.. I do remember him.. Hey Malvin" I greeted waving at him but he completely ignored me as though I am a piece of trash
" Stop standing there Debby.. bring a chair and sit here, Auntie Cynthia wants to speak to you about your school!" My mother said after observing that I was pissed by Malvin's mute response and might likely speak out my feelings.
I controlled my emotions and nodded in understanding.
Yes, I am boiling inwardly but I had to keep it buried in because of my respect for elders. So it will not be that because of an annoying fellow, I will miss my blessings from God.
Hence I decided to overlook his rude behavior as I took a plastic chair and sat down to join in Auntie Cynthia's chitchat with my mother.
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